How to help your teen free themselves from the shackles of anxiety

8 min readMar 7, 2022

Ever struggled to know where your teenager’s anxiety is rooted from? Whether it was a development from the pandemic or from social media or both? Do you struggle to communicate with your teen about anything and everything? Trying your best to help them manage the multitude of panic and anxiety attacks they experience? You are not alone! So many parents wrestle with this same challenge every day, but there is hope.

During the pandemic, so many children, teenagers, and adults were enclosed in their homes for almost two years with no real outside contact besides their immediate families. Social media engagement soared through the roof for teens and for adults. When the kids rejoined society and were almost back to a normal life, they didn’t realize they also carried with them an invisible underlying development — anxiety.

Have you ever heard of Social Media Anxiety Disorder?

Social Media Anxiety Disorder is a genuine mental health disorder. It can be comparable to social anxiety disorder. People who suffer from this disorder feel a great deal of anxiety and stress when they are separated from their phones, even if it’s only for a short period of time. They have a constant need to check for updates, and if they can’t then they get extremely anxious. For most of us, we can go a short period of time without the need to constantly check social media for updates or comments. According to Keith Miller Counseling, the studies show that around 20% of people are unable to last 3 hours without checking their social media accounts.¹

There are some great benefits of social media, like keeping in contact with family and friends that don’t live near or being a part of groups with others who share your same interests. But for some teens, it seems that the side effects of social media rapidly outweigh the benefits.

What are some symptoms of Social Media Anxiety?

Sleeplessness
Loneliness
Worry
Dependence²
Withdrawl from family and friends
Indifference to activities they used to enjoy
Checking phones in the midst of current conversations
Severe feelings of anxiousness and stress when you’re unable to check your social accounts
Being distracted
Lying or omission when asked about the amount of time you’ve spent online
Paranoia
ADHD¹

In the list above, you will notice that many of the symptoms stated could also be classic symptoms of depression, which can go hand in hand with anxiety. It’s hard not to wonder if social media is causing the rapid number of mental health issues that have developed in this time and age. According to Dr. Mark Becker of Michigan State University, 70% of people self-reported symptoms of depression among the groups that use social media, and 42% increased reports of social anxiety.³

Is teenage anxiety normal?

Before electronics and social media, teenage anxiety wasn’t as common as it is now. Teenagers in the past probably had the typical run-in with bullies, dealing with peer pressure, wanting to “fit in”, and regular school or work stress. Teenagers today deal with the same issues only multiplied. With the fast pace movement of the internet, teenagers today are dealing with:

exacerbated body image issues
cyberbullying
a rise in suicide rates
gaining their self-worth through likes and comments
poor self-esteem
higher insecurity and Isolation
antisocial behavior
higher cases of eating disorders

Not to mention the other health issues that come from stress and anxiety. Social media causes your body to constantly be on alert for notifications and messages, which turns on the fight or flight response in your limbic system. In turn, cortisol is consistently released into your body which can cause damage to your GI tract and lead to an immuno-inflammatory response in your brain and body over a long period of time.³

How can I help my teenager manage anxiety?

There are several coping mechanisms for teens to manage anxiety. Some practices work for some, and some not so much for others. Helping your teen find something that works for them is the first step.

When helping your teen deal with an anxiety episode, make sure that you do your best to validate everything they are feeling. Avoid making them feel they just need to “suck it up, and move on.” Show them you understand them and their current struggle to help them move past the immense feelings they are experiencing. Saying things like:

I can see why you are upset, that would upset me too
I can see why this is important to you
What a rough day you had
It’s okay to feel this way⁴

Try finding a good way to help them cope by taking their minds off of the current thought stirring up the pain and emotion. Some ways to manage anxiety are:

Meditation
Going for a walk or jog outdoors
Exercising⁵
Breathing
Progressive Muscle relaxation
Mental Health Apps — (What’s Up?, MoodKit, Mindshift, etc.)
Smelling Lavender
Squeezing an Ice cube or taking a hot shower (pulling you into the present)⁹

How does mindset play a role?

Although some of these techniques won’t completely stop a panic attack in its tracks, they will help it run a little softer in the background. There are several ways to help your teenager have a shift in mindset. Here are a few mindful ways to get your teen thinking deeper about their struggles with anxiety:

Help your teen actively start to recognize and understand why they are having anxiety. When your teen starts asking WHY, it gives them a reason to dig deep and find a root cause or thought that may have triggered the anxiety. In turn, it will help them stay more in control of the overwhelming feelings they are experiencing.
Remind them that their anxiety is a feeling they experience, it’s not who they are.
You can help them stay grounded and in the moment with mindful meditation. Practice breathing in for 4 breaths and out for 6. The more present and in the moment they feel the easier it will be for them to learn to control their anxiety instead of allowing it to control them.
Have your teen think about and consider how social media makes them feel. Have them ask themselves, “How does this impact my life?” Social media can provoke anxiety, so if they are aware of how it’s affecting their daily lives, then it will be much easier to control if they can learn to step away from it when it’s bringing up negative thoughts and feelings.
Help your teen find hobbies or activities that help them feel happy and calm. Some hobbies that can be calming are painting, fishing, walking, drawing, and listening to relaxing music.⁶
Help your teen practice positive self-talk and affirmations. This will help them to learn to talk themselves through an anxiety or panic attack. Some affirmation examples can sound like, “I can do this!” or “It’s okay to feel anxious. I can get through this anyway” or “I’ve gotten through this before, I can get through it again.”
Help them learn to face the anxiety head-on. When you’re standing face-to-face with your fears and struggles, it ultimately teaches you how to take control of those intense emotions. It will take a lot of practice, patience, and time but when all is said and done your teen will have the skills they need to manage these attacks.⁷

Here is a free simple ebook for quick access to different meditations, coping strategies, and positive affirmations to help your teen regain confidence and control over their anxiety. Click here to download it now!

Should I take away my teenager’s phone?

Taking your teen’s phone is not always going to be the answer, even if they struggle with anxiety and depression. As a parent, you need to set the right limits and boundaries. Use more of a soft discipline, because It’s more than just simply “logging off”.

As an adult, be an example for your teen by showing them what a healthy balanced use of media intake looks like. Set your own boundaries by being present when your teen is talking or interacting with you. Show your teen that you can also take phone-free breaks. Also, exclude screen time during family meals, group activities, and family quality time together.

Make sure that your teen knows that you want to openly communicate with them about their media consumption. Help them limit the amount of violent and traumatic news stories they read or watch, and help keep their eyes on the more positive stories. The less negative information they consume, the more it will help keep their anxiety at bay.

What are some symptoms of too much screen time?

You can help your teen recognize certain symptoms to look out for, so they can tell when they are overusing their electronics. Some symptoms of overuse are:

dry eyes
eye strain
headaches
dehydration
hunger
sleepiness

Make sure they know that their bodies need to rest and recharge, just like their devices. Also, keep an open discussion about their priorities. This can help them to determine if social media is taking away from their priorities in their daily lives.⁸

If your teen is still struggling with creating boundaries from social media and are still experiencing anxiety and depression even after implementing some of these tips, then it might be a good idea to find a safe space for them to confidentially check-in with a counselor, close friend, or a parent. Let your teen know that getting guidance from a professional is nothing to be embarrassed about. Talking to a mental health counselor can give them the tools they need to gain control over their anxiety and to live their best life.

For a quick guide of meditations and coping mechanisms, get your free e-book here!

If your child is talking about suicide, having suicidal thoughts, or you think they may harm themselves please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273–8255 (Talk). Help is available 24 hours a day.

References

3. Amedie, Jacob. 2015. “”The Impact of Social Media on Society” by Jacob Amedie.” Scholar Commons. https://scholarcommons.scu.edu/engl_176/2/.

7. “5 Ways to Cope With Anxiety (for Teens) — Nemours KidsHealth.” n.d. Kids Health. Accessed March 3, 2022. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/anxiety-tips.html.

6. “For All Seasons Hosts Lecture to Address Rise in Anxiety Among Teen and Adolescent Girls.” 2022. Discover Easton. https://discovereaston.com/press-releases/for-all-seasons-hosts-lecture-to-address-rise-in-anxiety-among-teen-and-adolescent-girls/.

4. Lear, Katie. 2021. “Helping a Teenage Girl With Anxiety: What to Say, and How to Say It — Child Counseling in Davidson.” Katie Lear. https://www.katielear.com/child-therapy-blog/2020/10/26/helping-a-teenage-girl-with-anxiety.

8. “Managing the Effects of Social Media on Teen Girls | Counseling@Northwestern.” 2020. Counseling@Northwestern. https://counseling.northwestern.edu/blog/effects-social-media-teen-girls/.

2. Shafer, Leah. 2017. “Social Media and Teen Anxiety | Harvard Graduate School of Education.” Harvard Graduate School of Education. https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/17/12/social-media-and-teen-anxiety.

1. “Social Media Anxiety Disorder.” n.d. Keith Miller Counseling. Accessed March 3, 2022. https://www.keithmillercounseling.com/social-media-anxiety-disorder/.

5. “Teens With Anxiety Disorders: 6 Things You Should Never Say.” n.d. Discovery Mood & Anxiety Program. Accessed March 3, 2022. https://discoverymood.com/blog/6-things-never-say-teens-anxiety-disorders/.

9. Lear, Katie. 2020. “5 Coping Skills for Kids and Teens with Panic Attacks — Child Counseling in Davidson.” Katie Lear. https://www.katielear.com/child-therapy-blog/2020/9/1/coping-skills-for-kids-and-teens-with-panic-attacks.